"Ex Men"

I totally stole this idea from a lovely gal named Sarah of Wearing it on My Sleeves. She had a fun post about the "ex men" in her life. It was too much fun of an idea to pass up. So, following are some anonymous letters to past relationships.

Dear First Kiss,
Our first kisses were each other, and it was... interesting. Our relationship was unknown to my parents until it was, and then "my whole world ended!" Yet we still managed to be together. You were set on marriage at the young age of 15 and I thought it might be kinda cool. It's a good thing I had to move away to New Mexico, otherwise I would have broken up with you in a much crueler way; I realized that you were annoying.

Dear Teddy Bear,
You were pretty chubby back then. You were funny, but impossible to talk to about serious things. I'm not sure what I was thinking. We broke up twice. Weird.

Dear Cool Guy,
We are of different faiths and that is what ultimately ended us. You are a pretty selfless guy. Thank you for teaching me how to love.

Dear Hook-Up,
Originally from Utah, you came to New Mexico for whatever reason it was. You wanted to kiss, and that was about it. So is that how they teach you to date in Utah? I was very vulnerable at the time, so it sucked pretty bad. You are a flirt and an affection whore.

Dear Nasal Voice,
You were a lot cuter in pictures. You were a fun guy, but a little too into your music and yourself. Thanks for the song you wrote me, and thanks for the other two songs you wrote to ask me on dates. My husband and I like to give them a listen for a good laugh sometimes. 

Are there any letters you'd like to write to an ex? Please do so in the comment section :)