Before Fox

About a month(?) before Fox was born, my lovely friend Lydia offered to take our family portraits. In film! I've barely ordered the prints and downloaded digital copies of my favorites to share here. I love taking photos in this location! The desert can be so pretty. I love looking at photos of my big baby belly. At the time, I didn't feel like I was that big by the end. Ha! I was wrong. Pregnancy is kind of surreal.  

Ok! This picture of Gwen! She looks so much younger, but it was only a few months ago?? I'll cherish this little baby faced photo forever. 

Thanks for the gorgeous photos, Lydia!
Photography Hill is based in Portland, OR. She travels to the Phoenix area regularly, so make sure to follow her Facebook or Instagram to stay updated for when she makes it back here! 

My "Hospital" (Birth Center) Bag

During my last pregnancy, we were so unprepared in this department. I had kind of started putting a bag together, but there were maybe only diapers and baby clothes in it. When the time came for labor, I progressed pretty quickly. When we realized that we needed to leave to the birth center, my husband was the one who had to scramble around, getting everything together while I gave him instructions on what to bring in between contractions that were maybe 2-3 minutes apart. We hadn't even installed the car seat, so Ryan just threw it in the car to install after the baby was born. Yes, it was hectic. On top of that, there was an insane rainstorm going on the entire time I was in labor. Read all about Gwen's birth here! 

We've learned our lesson the hard way, so I'm determined to be prepared this time! I thought I'd share the things I've put into my bag for this time around-.

For your baby:

1. A swaddle blanket

2. Pajamas- I only packed one set of clothes because I'm certain that we'll be doing a lot of skin-to-skin snuggling while at the birth center. This is just an outfit to drive home in. I packed something that could be unbuttoned in the middle to make room for the umbilical cord clamp if need be.

3. Pacifier- Not really sure if we'll use this so soon after he's born, but it may be useful, so I'd rather have it than not. Gwen never took a pacifier! So we'll see how this little guy reacts to one. I realize that most hospitals have pacifiers for newborns, but if you're birthing in a birth center, you should probably bring your own.

4. Cute outfit for newborn photos- this one is definitely not essential! But usually, women will spend at least one night in the hospital and have time to do a "fresh 48" photo session with their photographer. So if that's your plan, don't forget the cutesy garb. Upon further thought, I'm not sure that we'll do too many photos at the birth center, but I'm packing this just in case I feel like a rockstar after birth.

5. & 6.  Wipes and diapers. Hospitals and birth centers should have plenty of these, so I wouldn't be  worried about packing too many/too few.

For you:

1. Comfy undies and a nursing bra- You'll definitely be given a couple of pairs of mesh, disposable underpants at your hospital/birth center, but if you think you'll need some extra coverage, a pair of old undies may come in handy. If you're going the breastfeeding route, a nursing bra is obvious. I've packed my trusty, soft, "old faithful" bra that I used 80% of the time when Gwen and I were in the thick of our breastfeeding relationship. If you're a first time mom and don't already have a trusty nursing bra, don't worry about it yet, and just pack a cheap one from Walmart of Target for now. Just make sure to get one that's supportive! Because if you're anything like me, your ladies are gonna feel like melons after your milk comes in.

2. & 3. A comfy outfit to go home in- I packed a long, flowy t-shirt and Lula Roe leggings (they so sooooofffftttttt). I know that I'm gonna look about 5-6 months pregnant after giving birth so clothes that fit and aren't maternity will boost my confidence a bit.

4. A robe!- I'm excited about this one because I didn't have a robe last time and I really could've used one. I gave birth au naturel and stayed that way for the majority of our stay at the birth center. At the end of the day Ryan was like, "Uh... are you going to put some clothes on, yet?" Hahaha.

5. Slippers- Will I actually use these? I don't know. I'm not really a slippers person unless the floor is freezing, which doesn't happen too often in Arizona. I'm bringing 'em just in case!

Toiletries: 

(I realized I spelled toiletries wrong in my photo above! I'm annoyed by it, but I'm more lazy than annoyed, so it shall remain unfixed...) 

1. Nursing pads and Lanolin- Pamper your breasts! Stick those cotton pads in your supportive bra and slather your areolas in lanolin! Your breasts are in for a rude awakening. 

2. Essential oils- These may be used more so during labor. I've packed lavender to relax, peppermint to wake up, and Breathe to just remember and breath! All are doTerra brand. 

3. & 4. Travel sized toiletries- I went ahead and just bought mini sizes to make my life a little easier. Soap, lotion, deodorant, toothbrush, tooth paste, shampoo, and conditioner. 

5. Makeup remover wipes- Because who knows if I'll have leftover makeup on my face from the day before? It certainly happened last time. 

6. Hair styling tools- Another thing that's not absolutely necessary, but would be nice to have if you're planning that "fresh 48" photo session. 

7. Under eye patches for bags/dark circles- Another thing that would be nice for taking photos because you won't know what time your labor will start and end (first time moms may be in labor for 12-24+ hours), so you may look exhausted afterward. 

8. Small bag of makeup- Let's not go crazy. 

9. Razors- This is last on the list because I doubt that I'll use it, but thought it still might be nice to have "just in case I feel like a rockstar" after birth and my legs might look noticeably hairy. I don't doubt this will happen because shaving your legs while 8-9 months pregnant is no easy feat. Plus, it'll be winter, so that'll give me less reason to shave ;) 

10. I forgot to include this in the photo above! But hair ties! Bring 'em. Especially if you've got lots of long hair. If your hair is too short to put in a ponytail or braid, a headband would be a nice alternative to keep that bothersome hair out of the way.

Pack some food! Especially if you're going to a birth center and there's no cafeteria. I've packed a couple of protein bars and a huge bottle of water. I'll probably get a drink with electrolytes to pack as well because it's important to stay hydrated and fed while laboring. If you've been instructed to not eat in the hospital, just sneak some food. Seriously. Well, unless you're a high risk patient! But otherwise, I just think it's mean to keep a pregnant woman from eating, especially when she needs it most. There's my two cents.

And of course, bring your camera! Document this awesome occasion in which you've powered through! Even if it's just the camera on your phone, have someone take a photo of you with your new baby. Don't worry that you still look swollen or your hair is a mess. You'll be glad to have those photos.

It's important for your birthing partner to pack a bag as well! Make sure they pack these things:
-phone and charger
-snacks for themselves
-bathing suit (if you're planning to have a water birth)
-a change of clothes

What have you packed in your hospital bag to make your labor and after birth experience a little easier?

All photos taken by Photography Hill.  

Baby #2- Bumpdate 3

Annoying symptoms: heartburn/acid reflux almost every night. Sleeping is a little more difficult, but at least I don't have the urge to pee all night! (Yet...) Cravings: Cheeseburgers. The only time I'll eat beef is if it's an In-N-Out burger. I've only had a couple this pregnancy, but it's a funny craving for someone who usually only eats chicken or turkey. Baby movement: Lots of movement! Ryan felt him kick for the first time a few weeks ago. The baby has nudged Gwen a lot while I'm holding her against my belly, but she hasn't mentioned or realized that it's the baby. Weight gain: about 20 pounds. Looking forward to: my baby shower! My kind friends from church want to throw one for me next month! I'm in need of baby boy clothes. 

Baby #2- Bumpdate 2

A couple of weeks late, but here is a pregnancy update at 20 weeks! I share my excitement of having a boy and my nervousness about making the decision on whether or not to circumcise. Fun stuff.... 

Baby #2: Gender Reveal

We are so excited for this baby to come!

This video isn't exactly what I had envisioned, but I came close enough! I ended up giving Gwen a few mini cupcakes in the process of icing cupcakes and shooting this video so that she'd stay in her high chair and be occupied. We've had too much sugar today.... Does anyone want to take all this cake off our hands? 

Baby #2- First "Bumpdate" Video

I've wanted to document this pregnancy in a different way than my last pregnancy- with video updates! I personally feel like it's more fun to watch someone talk about their pregnancy than to read about it. I apologize for the length of this video! It's the first one in my little series and I share how I found out about this pregnancy, plus Gwen kept distracting me. But if you like really chatty videos, like I do, then you'll probably enjoy watching this. I promise I'll be more structured in the next videos and actually answer all the official bumpdate questions. The next video will probably be a gender reveal!

Please feel free to ask me any questions you'd like for me to answer about my pregnancy. It's always more fun to answer questions from my friends than it is to follow the meme. 

How We Wore It: Summer Workout

Hey! I'm joining a bunch of other lovely lady bloggers in "How We Wore It." Here's the photo that we all took inspiration from-

from Looks for Lovelies

Workout clothes! Yup. I was pretty consistent with working out before I got pregnant again. Isn't that always the way? The last two months I've felt like death. The first trimester was full of nausea, I thought it would never end. I still get nauseous, but no where near to the extent as the first trimester. I'm currently 15 weeks... I think? The rumors are true: you don't pay as much attention to the second pregnancy as you do with the first. I'll have to apologize to this kid when they see Gwen's baby book or my old weekly bumpdate blog posts from my pregnancy with Gwen. 

Onto the outfit I suppose-

Well I guess there's nothing too exciting about it, honestly. 

I do have a question for anyone who has been on the hunt for a good sports bra: WHERE DO I GET A GOOD SPORTS BRA? I tried one on at Victoria's Secret the last time I went bra shopping and it was awesome, but I'm not sure how I felt about the padding? I just have a few cheap-o sports bras from Target and Walmart, and they do not pass the jumping/running test. 

I'm on the hunt for some moderately easy workouts for pregnant gals like myself. Does anyone have suggestions? Links to YouTube videos I can check out? I want to get into prenatal yoga again. 

Make sure to check out the other bloggers' looks! 

Deidre from Deidre Emme

Ruth from My Little Nest
Jenn from What You Make It
Kiana from Glitter & Donuts
Jessica from Mason Jars and Lemon Bars
Alyssa from Pinsent Life
Sierra from Sierra's View
Madeline from CaseyLand
Riley from Riley Jo Blog
Samantha from The Samantha Show
Jen from Jam tart boutique
Beverly from What a Day
Brooklyn from Brooklyn Jolley
Amber from Amber Nicole blogs
Erica from Good Job Momma
Shelbie from 365 With RyGuy and I
Jenn from Give This Girl Coffee
Kelsi from Lovestrong
Justine from Little Dove
Chelsea from Tessa Marie
Monica from It's All About

Visit Deidre's blog to see how you can participate in the next "How We Wore It". 

Gwen as a big sister?

A couple of people have asked me if Gwen knows about or is excited for the baby. I tell her about the baby almost every day and ask if she's excited. She just looks at me and says, "Baby..." and then continues to do whatever it was she was doing before. Sometimes she'll look around for the baby I'm talking about. Sometimes I'm completely ignored. So yeah, she has no idea what's going on. She points out babies in public places and last week at church she decided to crawl with a baby in the foyer, which was hilarious. She loves the two books pictured in this little photo shoot we had with Photography Hill, and asks to read them whenever she sees them. She tries to feed her baby dolls and give them baths. But when it comes to comprehending that I have a small baby inside me that is going to grow and grow, she hasn't got a clue what I've been talking about, haha. We've got about 6 months to teach her all about that. She'll be 2 years and 2 months by the time the baby is born. She's going to grow so much during that time! I have no idea what she'll be like, then. It's exciting and a little terrifying. Toddlers are hard, yo. Two kids will be harder, yo! 

I really like this book pictured above. It teaches kids about attachment parenting. I wouldn't really call myself a full on attachment parent, but I have AP tendencies, especially when it comes to newborns. The book has illustrations of skin-to-skin contact between the parent and baby, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, and baby wearing. I love it. There's another book in the series called Baby on the Way that I definitely need to check out. Maybe that one will help Gwen understand more about this new baby business. 

A question to you veteran moms out there: How have you prepared your kid(s) for a new baby in your family? Any advice you have is appreciated. 

Another baby!

I always told myself that I would avoid having a baby around Christmas time if I could... hahaha! But we may have a Christmas baby on our hands. I have a lot of feelings about that, but I think I'm going to save all that for a video. For now I'll just share how excited and happy I am to finally announce this pregnancy! I've been feeling absolutely terrible with morning/all day sickness. Maybe now that everyone knows, my body will realize it's time to get into second trimester mode, the most wonderful time of pregnancy.

Yay for another baby!

Photos by Photography Hill

Flog 2: "How To"

I apologize a thousand times that this video is out of focus. I thought I was sitting in the right spot.... I'm in focus for like 1% of this video. This was the second time I filmed this, so I just decided to call it good. You can just listen to the audio if it annoys you as much as it annoys me, ha.

I finally figured out a better arrangement to take videos- instead of putting my camera on the tripod (where Gwen can knock it over) I put it on top of my dresser. Voila! No camera mishaps.
I didn't talk about all the things I wanted to because I either forgot or didn't have time to go into all the details, so if you have any specific questions about my labor or attachment parenting, leave a comment. If I get a lot of them, I may make a follow up video.

THIS AWESOME VIDEO embodies a lot of what I believe regarding natural birth. Watch it! Watch it!

Read my birth story here.

Watch all the other "How To" videos in the Flog challenge! 

Gwendolyn's birth

(I've finally posted it! Just a little warning- I'll be talking about gross blood and guts and feces stuff. Birth is beautiful and also really gross.) 

I was feeling more fatigued than usual the weekend before Gwen was born. Standing and walking became a little unbearable. It was the first time during the pregnancy that I felt absolutely done with it all. Saturday was the Arizona blogger conference and many people commented on “how soon she’ll be here!” The same happened on Sunday at church. One member even said, “I better see a baby here next week!” With which I replied, “If I have the baby soon, I won’t be here next week!” I felt like I had started to dilate late Saturday/Sunday, and some of my mucus plug had started to come out. I kept in mind this wasn’t necessarily a sign that I’d go in to labor soon, as I remembered all the stories I heard of women being dilated for weeks before giving birth. So I relaxed on Sunday. (I usually take the bump update photos on Sundays, but as you can tell, I was much too tired and achy to even consider it, which is why I never documented week 38.)

I went to bed pretty late, as usual, and lulled myself to sleep scrolling through my phone (Typical.). It was around 1:30 am when I rolled over to get in a comfy sleeping position when I heard it start to rain loudly outside. I then felt the urge to use the bathroom, accompanied by cramps. I had diarrhea, oh boy. And bloody show, from the mucus plug! I was still a little hesitant as to whether this was the beginning of labor or not (again, because of all the stories I’ve heard). After my second trip to the bathroom I asked Ryan if he was awake, to which I already knew the answer since there was a heavy, loud storm right above our apartment. I told him what was up and then went to the bathroom again. I was sure this was it by that time. My phone beeped with a flash flood warning until 4:45am. I tried laboring while lying on the bed and could only stand that for a few contractions. I opted for the toilet again. The bathroom really is a pretty good place to labor! When I wasn’t on the toilet, I “slow danced” with Ryan. It felt so nice to lean into him for support and sway from side to side through each contraction. I threw up at one point after Ryan tried to feed me a cracker. I was all kinds of glamorous.

I heard my phone beeping again with another flash flood warning, this time until 6:30am. I had no concept of time; all I could think about was moaning through the next contraction and letting the pain take over my body instead of fighting it. Each contraction meant that my baby would be here sooner. I remember my transition, where I felt absolutely defeated and wanted to quit. We were taught that this transitioning usually happens near the end of the first stage of labor, so I was surprised for having those feeling “so soon” and fought to shrug it off.  I remember saying, “This is so hard” and “It hurts so much” to Ryan by this time. I believe that it was important for me to admit how much pain I was in- I knew that I was no hero.

 I was back on the bed when I just felt like pooping, a sign that my body wanted to start pushing. This scared me a little because I felt like I just went into labor and I was expecting it to be an all day event, anywhere from 12-24 hours. The contractions were closer together and I just wanted to be in the birth center. I urged Ryan to page the midwives. Mary called back within the same minute. She talked to me for a bit and I can’t really remember anything I said. She heard me having a contraction and advised us to get on the road. There was another Emergency Alert on the phone- “avoid flooded areas until 10:30am.”

Ryan began to load the car. We were so unprepared, we hadn’t installed the car seat yet and there were a few things that still needed to be put into the bag. I remember being in the bathroom alone with the contractions and absolutely hating it. I didn’t realize just how much I needed Ryan with me until he had to leave my side to get everything in the car. Ryan walked back inside, drenched, with bad news. He said that Mary had called again saying that we might want to go to the nearest hospital instead of the birth center (the birth center being a 20-25 minute drive via the freeway from us) due to the rain/flooding and depending on how far into labor I thought I was. I was devastated. I had absolutely no birth plan prepared for a hospital birth and we never took a tour of any hospitals.  Ryan informed me that the flooding outside was bad, but I still thought it would be best to head over to the birth center and maybe just avoid the freeway. Ryan continued to load the car and that’s when I decided to look out the kitchen window. The tires of all the parked cars were hidden beneath the water. I just stood at the window feeling betrayed by the weather.

We still decided to head to the birth center. Ha, we crazy, but that’s how much I wanted to avoid an unplanned hospital birth. Ryan informs me that each time we’d try to leave, another contraction would start and I’d stall.  We finally got in the car, after walking through a huge puddle, and after maybe 20 minutes (again, I had no concept of time) of awful traffic (it was so terrible!!) we went ahead and braved the freeway. I barely remember the ride, my eyes were mostly closed as I concentrated and moaned through each contraction. I know that we took the carpool lane the whole way. It took about an hour to get there, and what a relief it was to exit the freeway and pull into the parking lot of the birth center! I was so happy that we made it!

We walked in but had to stop in the entryway due to another contraction. I hung on to Ryan, so grateful that he was there, and I remember both of us simultaneously saying, “I love you,” which gave me a boost of confidence. Mary appeared and led us into the suite. I stripped down so she could check my cervix (ouch). I was 7-8 centimeters dilated!!! That was so exciting to hear. Mary started filling up the birthing tub and Ryan changed into his swim trunks. I got into the warm tub (the best feeling) and they turned on the jets. I ended up denying my black tank top that I originally planned to birth in- it’s completely true that you lose all sense of modesty by this point. Mary knew that I haven’t eaten since labor started so she made me a smoothie while Jacqueline (one of the birth assistants) tended to me. I labored in the tub for the next 2-3 hours, reluctantly sipping on smoothie and water all the while. That smoothie was delicious, but I wasn’t interested in food by this point.

I listened to my body and started to push whenever I felt the urge. I began on my hands and knees, but Mary suggested that I changed my position to make my pushing more effective. While pushing, I was able to touch baby’s head with my fingers a couple of times before she came out. The pain was more intense by the time she started to crown. I remember hesitating because it started to sting and Mary told me that I needed to expect that pain. Once I accepted that, I went ahead and pushed, pushed, pushed, remembering to do it at my own pace. The “ring of fire” is intense, but I hear that water births are less painful in that aspect, so I guess the pain could have been worse. I looked down at my misshapen belly in awe. It was so cool to see how it had changed now that the baby and I were working together to get her out. I thought to myself that my screams with each push must have sounded so unearthly, but later Ryan reassured me that I wasn’t as creepy as I thought, haha.

And Gwendolyn was born(!) at 10:44 in the morning. She was plopped onto my chest, screaming. Ryan was right behind me, saying how beautiful she was. I don’t remember what I said- I may have just said “Oh, baby” over and over again as I studied her little body. The water surrounding us was pretty icky- I was losing a lot of blood. I was told to hold tight to my baby as Mary and Ryan carried me to the bed. Ryan cut the umbilical cord and to my surprise, Mary explained that she was going to give me a shot of pitocin to help with the delivery of the placenta and to stop the bleeding. After delivering the placenta, I had to get some stitches, which seemed like took forever to get taken care of. All this time I held Gwen close to my chest. I was given lots of water and orange juice and postpartum tea afterward since I was dehydrated. Then I was fed breakfast- waffles, strawberries, and eggs- yum. Ryan held Gwen while I was resting but I couldn’t really fall asleep- how could I?? I was so excited and nervous and overall happy that everything went well. I knew that I was capable of a natural birth, as I believe most women are, but it was still pretty magical and surreal that I had done it. I had accomplished what I set out to do and was praised and supported the whole way. Ryan did such a great job at coaching me through labor. He was always so nervous about this big day, but all I really needed was for him to constantly be by my side. He gave me so much strength. 

(First selfie on her first day on the outside) I loved this moment of laying in the bed with Ryan and our baby. 

It was such a whirlwind experience, you guys. I was so grateful that it all worked out, mostly according to plan. We were not expecting Gwen to be born a week early, hence the unpreparedness on our part. We left the birth center around 8pm, after all the paperwork and instruction on breastfeeding was given. I couldn’t believe how fast it all happened. I was so nervous on the car ride home- she was outside of my body, in the back seat! I now had to focus on feeding her every two hours and keeping track of diapers and remembering to take it easy and lay down as much as possible so I could heal. After that initial shock, a visit with the lactation consultant, and Ryan home to take care of me all week, I felt a little more confident about motherhood. I still have no idea what I’m doing, but I’ve been told that’s A-OK.

Here's a puffy-faced/swollen photo of the both of us shortly before leaving the birth center. Can you believe that little girl was inside of me?? 

Ah! I’m a mom! Now take a look at these cute pictures. 

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